A Servant Leader & An Ezer



In my eyes, my fiancé is an incredible man. He is a servant leader.

He is a man who serves me, who puts my needs before his own. He takes care of me, expresses love in words and in actions. Loves me in my weaknesses, lifts me up when I am down and anxious. Celebrates my victories. He listens; he responds. He builds things for our home, creates beautiful, original wood art. He encourages me to be a stronger version of myself, but makes me rest when I am weary. He takes care of me when I am weary. That is hard for me, that is normally my job [I am the nurse]. How he takes care of me was one of the first things that drew me to him. He feels my pain but he lifts my eyes to see the more hopeful, eternal perspective.

“Servant Leadership” was coined by Robert K. Greenleaf in 1970.

“The servant-leader is servant first… It begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve, to serve first. Then conscious choice brings one to aspire to lead.”

So this was the coining of the term, but hardly the beginning of the concept.

Jesus was the first servant leader. He said whoever would be great would first be a servant. He says that he came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life for the sake of ours.

And so as I reflect and am encouraged by my husband-to-be, I am pointed to our Savior every day. I am reminded of my role also, in becoming his wife.

Eve was the world’s first wife, and God said that she would be Adam’s helper; his ezer. What a beautiful word! What a strong, powerful word.

Ezer was word used oftentimes by God’s people when calling out in military distress, when they needed a strong helper. Ezer, when found in Psalms, is often used to describe God as our helper. What a strong, powerful word.

There are so many ways to love my future husband, and a facet of my new role is the name ezer. Just as I need him to serve me and point me to Jesus, he needs me as his ezer and to point him to Jesus.

He needs me as a praying wife. He needs me to intercede as the Holy Spirit intercedes. He needs me to unload his plate when he is overburdened and tired. To give him space and room to lead. To follow him wherever God leads, to risk when he sees fit to risk, and to help usher Heaven into this broken world. To raise children, to sacrifice my wants for the sake of a healthy home; an environment where we are free and encouraged to seek the Lord. To watch baseball instead of football, and to always restock our fridge for the copious (and mildly disgusting) amount of milk he drinks.

A single blog post is not sufficient to describe all the ways we love eachother, and what the next fifty years of marriage will hold. Yet, I am content knowing that we are seeking the Maker first, and pray this will always be true of our marriage.


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